4.4.24
I feel the pain of everyone
Then I feel nothing

The song Feel the Pain — from Dinosaur Jr.’s 1994 album, Without a Sound — opens with the squeaky, dry pop of a cork releasing from a bottle. From there, the lyrics and music pour out like so much delicious wine.

It’s a manic, three-chord hymn to emotional whiplash, held together by a guitar riff that sounds like an epiphany every time I hear it. The riff is buffered by aggressive arrangements that suggest confusion, followed by frantic instrumentals that are equally chaotic and triumphant. As far as I’m concerned, Feel the Pain is the hardcore/alternative answer to Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.

Listening to Feel the Pain is almost always a soothing balm to me. A reminder to slow down and check in with myself. I’m the sort of person who very much wants to be there for others, and that means it’s easy for me to focus only on others’ feelings and neglecting my own. It’s natural for me to feel other people’s pain, and if I don’t remain mindful and vigilant, that can mean that when it comes to me, I am out of touch with how I feel.

Feel the Pain is also a track that makes me feel like I’m 20 again. With 50 knocking, that’s a nice feeling, taken in small doses.

As long as I remember that 20-year-old me could leave a mosh pit fairly unscathed, but 50-year-old me probably can’t and would almost certainly feel the pain.