2.16.24

I don’t know.

I’m kinda all over the place with this one. Of two minds. But more of the mind that this song is what I should share and right about, than not. So here we go …

Paul MCCartney’s 1997 album, Flaming Pie, came out a year and a half before I became a dad. From a pre-kid perspective, Young Boy was just a song about a guy seeking romantic love. But after the kids showed up, it was literally a different story.

In addition to being the spark of part of my approach to parenting, the song also planted the seed of what would become a career of working with kids.

Young Boy is a song that — at least to me — describes the motivation of all children, regardless of gender. They are seeking love in a general sense. And they’re discovering that this is not an easy thing to find sometimes.

It’s no secret that these days — maybe more than ever? — kids are engaging in big negative behaviors. At home. At school. In the community.

And one thing in this life that I am absolutely certain of is this: all behavior is commutation. Child, adult, animal. It’s communication.

Don’t believe me? Stick your hand in front of a dog that has its hackles up.

The thing is, with kids, more often than not in my experience, the communication behind big negative behaviors is, “I need love.”

I found this to be true with my own kids, and with the exception of a couple extreme cases, I’ve found it to be true with the students I’ve worked with over the years.

The thing that muddies the water for adults is this thing that a great philosopher named Elvis Presley once said: “Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave ‘em all over everything you do.”

So you can have a classroom of 20 different kids, and each one of those kids is in a living situation where love is expressed (or not) in a different way than in the next one. Maybe it’s hugs and kisses and “I love you”s. Or it might be toys, name brand clothes, and video games. Or it might be abuse, neglect, and food deprivation. Or, since we live in the real world, it’s a mix of things.

I don’t have much of anywhere to go beyond that. It’s just been on my mind, and I needed to put it out into the world. Kid behaviors weigh heavy on educators, just like they do on parents.

Kids are looking for love. So maybe we should lead with it.

He’s just a young boy

Looking for a way to find love

It isn’t easy, nothing you can say

Will help him to find love

He’s got to do it for himself

And it can take so long