Jan. 23, 2024

Some songs evoke a general feeling or recall a period of time. Maybe bring back moments from an old relationship. Others have a laser focus, honing in on a moments-long sense memory as vivid as the dog napping in front of me as I write.

Tender, from Britpop band Blur’s 1999 album, 13, is one of those sense memory songs. It popped into my head on the way home from school today and hasn’t left.

Here’s the scene that sets up the moment I connect with the song:

It’s early August 1999. My first wife, our seven-month-old first son, and I have spent the summer living in an old trailer on top of a hill in Waterville, VT.

The summer is one of transition.

My ex has graduated from Trinity College in Burlington, and I’m about to return to Johnson State College to finish getting my bachelors degree. We’re supposed to be living in adult student housing on campus, but our apartment isn’t ready yet. My paternal grandparents are kind enough to let us stay in their getaway trailer, all of three-quarters of a mile away from where they live.

But it’s paradise up there on the hill. End of a dirt road. Surrounded by open fields and dense forests. One of the prettiest views of the western portion of the Lamoille Valley that you’ll find.

This particular afternoon, I’m driving home from work — baking for a bakery at Smugglers Notch Resort (in addition to freelancing for the Burlington Free Press) — in our red Toyota Tercel. It’s a Saturday, and in a bit, my parents, grandparents, sister, aunts, uncles, and cousins will be showing up for the big summer barbecue.

I can’t wait. I’m a new dad, proud of my young family and excited to spend time with the pros.

As I turn off Route 109 onto Lapland Road, Tender comes off the radio, and for a few seconds, I feel like the world is giving me a hug. I drive by the cemetery where my Great Uncle Vic — a hermit who spent most of his life in a broken down brick house on the hill — and feel deeply connected to where I have come from.

I still don’t know about so much yet. Unexpected joys and unexpected pain that will visit in the years ahead. Not to mention the ongoing learning that goes with growing up and getting older.

The bonfire-on-a-beach vibe of the music and handclaps, the vulnerability of Damon Albarn’s voice (Tender is about his breakup with Justine Frischmann from Elastica), the uplifting backing of the choir … that moment would have been a lovely fade to back and cut to final credits.

Come on, come on, come on

Get through it

Come on, come on, come on

Love’s the greatest thing that we have